I grew up in horse country. But now I love in the east, in a land of humidity and deciduous forests. It was a long journey from big sky country to sky-scrapper country but here I am and I’m making the best of it.
When I was younger, it was easy to travel back home, but as grew older and as I experienced some problems with my family I stayed away. Recently I realized that I haven’t been back home for almost ten years. Then my grandpa died, and I had to take an emergency trip back home for the funeral. It was rough both on an emotional account and trying to get to a rural city in the middle of February account too. Now? Now I’m actually traveling back next week. There was some family stuff that didn’t get done in February that we need to do. Mainly, we need to inter Grandpa’s ashes along side my grandmother.
God, this makes me so sad. On one hand, life never stops moving. But on the other I realize that Grandpa is not around anymore, and it’s usually under a sweet memory that I want to share with him or have about him. But I can’t and that void sucks. It sucks balls. So I’m traveling back this Monday so that Next Friday we can lay him to rest. Damn, now I’m crying.
He was always around in my youth and now it feels weird to go back and have him be gone. Then, in February I realized that one day I’m going to be driving around, thinking about all the stuff that’s happened, and I will be the only person from my family left. Seeing a particular lake or talking about a particular hike with people who have a shared experience with me will no longer happen. It’ll just be me, driving around with no one to talk to and that’s depressing as f-.
And it seems like so much has changed from my childhood to now. Technology, internet, apps, influencers, etc. It’s such a different world. I would have never expected that I would be a part of something like this. Earlier on, in my mid twenties I had my own business that really looked like the businesses of old. I used to clean the carpets of used cars because those are always dirty. Always. Eventually, with a team of four other people, we created an app based off of the work that I did.
I didn’t have a website and just we walked into dealerships asking if they had a problem with the carpets of their used cars (they always did). After a quick demo, we would talk prices and then I would get to work. But now? Almost all business owners need to have an online presence, but not only that, they need social media too. But the problem is that everyone is online and its hard as hell to stand out. So now you get people who have businesses helping other businesses stand out online. Social media marketers, business coaches, SEO people… sometimes I dream about my childhood when I didn’t have to worry about this stuff because the internet didn’t even exist.
But I wish that I could just go back to Cowboy Bill’s pasture, hop on the back of Dancer and ride off in the sunset. Maybe I’ll get a chance to ride when I’m back. I’ll let you know.